I'm back. For now at least. Who knows how long that will be. Xanga seems to be the only blog I stay truly true to. I think that's more out of habit than necessity though. The only thing special about xanga is it was the first blogging site I used and therefore the one I slip into easily enough.
I've decided I want to branch out though. This blog is now going to be a mix of health/beauty/weight loss stuff. And on top of that, I might start blogging about my mailing hobby again as well. For now though, I want to focus on a lifestyle change here.
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| Summer 2012. My heaviest weight. I'm 264lbs here. |
It'd be better if the shot were taken of my standing up so you could truly see how I look for comparison later on when I (hopefully) lose weight. At the time of the photo I wasn't thinking about before and after pictures. So it'll just have to do.
So this is the 'beginning' of my journey. I will not start over again. This is where I'm going to be accountable.
I want to be healthy. I want to be happy. Above all else, I do not want to be morbidly obese anymore. It's preventing me from doing the things I enjoy doing. I feel so consumed, so lifeless. Depressed. Self Hatred, despite trying to stay positive about myself. I am better than a mindless black hole who will eat anything and everything and sit on my ass for hours a day.
Permanent change. That's what I strive for. If I stumble, I'll catch myself instead of crying on the ground reaching for another cookie.
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